Get Your Mojo Flowing!

Mojo is that feeling you get when you’re at the top of your game, juggling the kids, life, and your own needs—even for one glorious afternoon.

A message from author Amy Tiemann

When I was pregnant, I read tons of books about having a baby. I learned all about pregnancy, health, delivery, and infant care, but there was one vital element missing from the hundreds of pages I had read. I had no idea what was about to happen to me.

I have to admit that I didn’t expect the changes in my own life and identity to be so huge. When I left my teaching career, I left behind a job that had provided a support network and a sense of daily accomplishment, in addition to a paycheck. My teaching identity largely defined my sense of who I thought I was. Once I was no longer “Dr. T.,” speaking to a hundred students each day, I was faced with redefining my sense of self and creating the next era in my life.This challenge was a great gift of rediscovery. Several years of exploration led me to the realization that I am many things. I am a mother, a wife, a friend, a teacher, and a writer.

When my daughter started preschool, I set out to write the book that I wished I had to guide me through the transforming experience of motherhood. Mojo Mom takes an honest look at the changes, gifts, and challenges that you will encounter as you grow as a mother.

What if there were another rite of passage that typically involved losing your job and professional status, changing your name (to “Susie’s Mom”), catapulting you into a new social circle that required you to make all new friends, subjecting yourself to severe sleep deprivation, and suffering a loss of family income, in addition to becoming the primary caretaker of an infant? Does that sound like something that you would celebrate with a party featuring giant diaper pin decorations and a ducky cake? It sounds more like an entry to the Witness Protection program. For me, the loss of identity was the most unexpected and disorienting aspect of becoming a mother. It is certainly a challenge that requires new skills and survival strategies.

The good news is that once I unwrapped the layers of my identity crisis, inside I found the gift of discovering my essential self. I stripped away the labels and roles that had defined me and I found out who I really was. As I continued to explore, I added back old elements I missed, and discovered exciting new facets of my identity. Motherhood offers us the gift of reinvention—a chance to reshape your career path, examine your priorities, start a new venture, or rekindle long-dormant dreams.

Mojo Mom is designed to help each woman explore the essential question Who am I, now that I am a Mom? We will cover topics that are vital and relevant for new mothers and seasoned Moms alike. I will teach you how to take loving care of yourself right now, as well as planning for new interests and paths to develop as your kids grow older. We will explore ways to enhance your relationship with your spouse or partner, so that when the kids are grown, you will remain connected as friends and lovers rather than feeling like distant strangers.

What makes Mojo Mom different?

Mojo Mom is the first book that feels like your own voice, finally saying what it means to be a Mom. Mojo Mom does more than just identify the challenges of motherhood. I have gathered dozens of tools, ideas, activities, books, gadgets, and other quality resources for nurturing every part of your life.

Mojo Mom will fill you in on a wide range of topics that you will not find in other books, including:

• Preparing to become a Mom without losing your sense of self.
• How to take care of yourself in the fragile weeks and months after giving birth.
• Tips on creating a To-Do list that includes your needs as a priority.
• How to declutter your overloaded mental environment.
• Why worrying about your family can actually make them less safe.
• How to negotiate a fair division of household labor with your spouse.
• The key elements essential for the long-term success of your marriage.

Wow! I couldn’t put this book down! Filled with practical information, wisdom, and compassion, Mojo Mom should be a primary resource for every new Mom, particularly women leaving or taking time off from the workforce to be home with a baby.
— Sherri Caldwell, co-author of The Rebel Housewife Rules: To Heck With Domestic Bliss

Mojo Mom is based on far more than just my own experience or opinion. My teaching and research background compelled me to work hard to provide you with the most comprehensive, up-to-date information available. You will hear many other women’s stories and wisdom reflected in the book as the result of the two years of research and interviews that I conducted. Some of the advice I gleaned in consultation with other experts includes:

• Why it is beneficial to teach your breastfed baby to accept a bottle of breastmilk and specific instructions teaching you how to do it.
• A simple tip to enhance your sex life after the baby arrives that even your best friend may not tell you.
• How to cope when you get overwhelmed and feel like YOU need a time-out.
• A discussion of financial planning for women, including six essential tips that will provide you with a financial safety net.

While I consulted many experts and books to provide accurate advice, my goal was to convey the information with humor and compassion. I am honest about the challenges you may face, but I write from a perspective that we are all doing the best we can, and need to support each other.

My favorite quote is from Zen teacher Cheri Huber, “Be kinder to yourself than you think you should be.” This spirit forms the foundation on my Mojo Mom approach.

You do a wonderful job of giving women permission to love and nurture themselves without denigrating motherhood. In fact, you make me proud to be a mother, and to belong to this sisterhood. How great is that?!?
— Sheryl Grant, assistant editor of Carolina Parent magazine

I invite you to reframe the debate over selfishness that inevitably arises when mothers save some of their best time and energy for themselves: Taking care of yourself is not being selfish. Rather, it vital to creating a centered self. Mojo Mom will teach you how to give yourself as much loving care as you give to your family. Topics include:

• How to recognize the signs of post-partum depression.
• Checking in to make sure that your nutrition, adequate sleep, and medical care are top priorities that you refuse to neglect.
• Taking time for yourself to recharge your batteries, and creating a special space for yourself within your home.
• Giving yourself permission to just SAY NO to mother guilt.
• The importance of creating a strong support network by reaching out to other women and families.
• Feeling at peace with your own life-work path, and supporting other women who have made different choices—Ending the so-called “Mommy Wars” between women who stay at home and those who are employed.

I practically devoured Mojo Mom—I read the better part of it in one sitting. I had almost a feeling of déjà vu reading it, so much rings true. That sense of authenticity is, in my opinion, the greatest accomplishment of the book. It actually jives with a real Mom’s experience of motherhood. That moment of recognition is everything.
— Amy Tidovsky-Wolfe, mother of two

Mojo is power. As I wrote, I realized I was creating a guidebook for an epic journey, one that starts with life inside the cocoon during the early months of motherhood, then leads us through a path of discovery back into the world to become visionary leaders.

It is easy to lose sight of the larger world and our role in it. Family life can be all-consuming, and our role as mothers can feel insulated and isolated. After my family moved to North Carolina when our daughter was a toddler, I realized that no one even knew who I had been in my “previous life.” Being a mother creates a most personal relationship with your child, but it can put us into an a anonymous position in the larger community. Even within my wonderful Moms’ support group, it took a while to get to know each woman well enough to really know her outside her identity as a mother.

Mojo Mom encourages us to step back into our roles as leaders as our time allows, whether that means organizing a school fund-raiser or running for Congress. Society cannot afford to lose the gifts of our wisdom and experience. Being a mother has helped me grow up and learn what is really important, and I feel that I am more qualified than ever to play an important role in the world. While it can be hard to look beyond the ongoing demands of family life that face us now, if you think about your whole lifespan, most of us will experience a long “Third Act” of life after our children are grown. A woman who has children in her thirties will have an empty nest in her fifties—an age that many women say is one of the most productive and exciting times of life. The key is to keep growing as individuals and maintain our leadership skills so that we are ready to direct fabulous Second and Third Acts when the time comes.

Mojo Mom is a much-needed catalyst for living the precious gift of personal power we each long for at every stage of life. Give this book to every Mom you know, but give it to yourself first!
— Zainab Salbi, founder, Women for Women International

Please join me on this journey. In choosing motherhood, we choose love, commitment, and connectedness. Mothering is a transforming passion, a deep pool we willingly dive into headfirst. What we want is not to escape but to rise to the surface again. This is not about reclaiming who we were, but discovering who we can become—and all this amidst the daily demands, dreams, hugs, smudges, laundry, and limits of your life as a Mojo Mom.

Tell me more about what I’ll find inside Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family.

Mojo Mom contents

Chapter 1: A Mother is Born tells you the truths about the transformation to motherhood that other parenting books don’t address.

Chapter 2: Life Inside the Cocoon gives new Moms essential tips for surviving the intense newborn months, and developing confidence in your own parenting style.

Chapter 3: Banking the Embers of Your Self...to Build a Bonfire Later describes a strategy you can use to include your own needs on your To-Do list.

Chapter 4: Am I Just Being Selfish? Letting Go of Guilt, Worry, and Anxiety makes the case that it is healthy to just Say No to Mom Guilt.

Chapter 5: Centering, Silence, and Reclaiming Your Mind Space describes activities that can help keep you grounded, and reviews two gadgets that filter out mental clutter.

Chapter 6: Express Yourself encourages you to experience your authentic emotions, and lists dozens of activities that serve as creative outlets.

Chapter 7: Daddies as Mojo Partners discusses the relationship challenges that come along with parenthood, the importance of negotiating an equitable division of labor, and the relationship keys to growing as a couple rather than growing apart.

Chapter 8: Keeping Your Resume Fresh and Your Financial Future Secure describes the essential components of a financial safety net for every Mom, and reveals the hidden financial pitfalls of being a Stay-at-Home Mom.

Chapter 9: Sisters Are Doing It for Each Other pays tribute to the support that women give each other through good times and in crises.

Chapter 10: Spreading Your Wings encourages you to take on a leadership role in your community and the world...when the time is right.